John Coulombe

Provided by CN Building Adult Ministries Resource Center

When Mid-course Changes Happen

It was 25 years ago—January 1981—that the Forever Young ministry began here in Fullerton under the leadership of Dave Jobe. Seven years later, the Coulombe clan arrived on the scene to carry on Dave’s legacy and work with senior adults.

Remember where you were 25 years ago? The changes that have occurred are staggering—in our lives, culture, world and yes, church. A vital part of healthy living is change, except for the things ordained by God as unchangeable. Healthy things grow; growing things change; changing things challenge us; challenges force us to trust; trust leads to obedience; obedience makes us healthy; healthy things grow! Monuments and museums are important for remembering the past but they can hinder living organisms. When our memories exceed our dreams, life is over for us. I hope we hear God’s voice saying: “I created you to grow. Beloved family, be steadfast—yes; be immovable—yes; but always abound in the work of the Lord, because it matters! Press on!” (1 Cor. 15:58; Phil. 3:14)

Twenty-five years with senior adults here at FEFC has been sweet, meaningful and impacting. But it’s also included these mid-course changes all along the way:

1. Leadership changes: Our directors have changed: Lula Mae and Boyd

Keyes, Jan and Bill Shearman, Pearl and Lou Botka, Jane and Ken Heuer—and now our new directors—Maxine and Walt Williams, as well as other leadership team members along the way.

2. Program-time changes: From lunch meetings to evening meetings, so those still engaged in work and activity during the day could attend.

3. Newsletter changes: Started out with a communication piece called In Touch in black and white; which changed to The Grapevine, continually upgraded, now a multi-colored glossy bimonthly newsletter.

4. Program focus change: Mission statement remains the same, but a move from program oriented activities only, to greater focus on service, outreach and involvement including program planning and leadership being decentralized and carried out by various adult fellowships.

5. Name Change: Forever Young for all these years; now changed to ENCORE! Why? Frankly, we were seeking a fresh name that would attract the next generation of ‘seniors’ (50+ adults). There are an unprecedented number of healthy, capable, experienced adults looking for opportunities in which to invest their time, skills and talents to expand the Kingdom. Encore literally means, “still at it” or “doing it again.” It is an additional performance at the end of a successful concert. And in this case, means there’s more life to be lived after retirement.

6. Role Change for Pastor John and Bambi Encarnacion: Due to the ever expanding

ministry with our 50+ Adults, as well as Pastor John’s health issues with his biological heart, there is another major transition in the works. I will begin to turn over the myriad details required to manage our ministries to Bambi, who is gifted in ministry, administration and gerontology. I will slow down my pace and focus more on my role as pastor rather than innovator/ administrator. The plan is for me to teach, lead, mentor, train, resource, network, lead Evening Chapel Praise and continue to be involved—but walking, not running!

Your prayers are appreciated as I grow make those changes. Remember—change in life is inevitable; growth is not. It’s not wrong to be where you are—but it is wrong to stay where you are! We often come to church and sing “Just as I am,” then leave just as we were. Grow for it!

^{John Coulombe has served for 20 years as Pastor to Senior Adults at First Evangelical Free Church, Fullerton CA}

by John Coulombe

Provided by CN Building Adult Ministries Resource Center

The Key to Christmas – Attitude or Activity?

In his book entitled Jesus Rediscovered, the late Malcolm Muggeridge, British journalist, author and Christian apologist comments on the celebration of Christmas and what might be considered an overexposed and overstated season. He wonders: In the exposition and portrayal of Christ’s birth, literally billions of words, oceans of paint, acres of canvas, and mountains of stone and marble have been expended, not to mention in recent times, miles of film. Is there, then, anything left to say? I ask myself, rather disconsolately, and decide that there is—not because of me, but because of Him.

As we head once again into this gala season of giving thanks and “Holy-days,” preparing to celebrate and send greetings, we are probably asking similar questions: “How can I engage and appraise this season with new eyes, fresh thoughts and a renewed heart of joy and praise?” The story is such a simple one—yet so profound. Max Lucado (in God Came Near) puts it this way:

God became a man . . .. The omnipotent, in one instant, made Himself breakable. He, who had been spirit, became pierceable. He who was larger than the universe became an embryo.

And He who sustains the world with a word chose to be dependent upon the nourishment of a young girl. God as a fetus. Holiness sleeping in a womb. The creator of life being created. God was given eyebrows, elbows, two kidneys and a spleen. He stretched against the walls and floated in the amniotic fluids of His mother. God had come near . . . The Word became flesh.

What inconceivable, incredible, inexpressible, incomprehensible thoughts! God is approachable, touchable, and knowable. Now that’s worth giving thanks and having a celebration or two! However, let’s not forget the message in the little chorus we sing: “Celebrate My birth, celebrate My life, celebrate My truth that made you free. But in all your celebration, don’t forget in your elation, to worship and celebrate Me.”

As we move into the brisk weather of these months, the rich and abundant foods and bustling, bursting schedules, let’s keep in mind that the key to enjoying rather than enduring this season is in our attitude, not our activities.” Our prayer for you is that you let the Word who became flesh break through to your spirit to become your Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. (Isaiah 9:6)

^{John Coulombe has served for 20 years as Pastor to Senior Adults at First Evangelical Free Church, Fullerton CA}

by John Coulombe

Provided by CN Building Adult Ministries Resource Center

Trust in God Affects All of Life

While lying in a hospital bed at St. Jude last August, I was given the privilege of time to re-evaluate my life and life’s work. I discovered that when one’s body is broken, many values change. That which was so important no longer is. And that, which meant so little, strangely means so much. In the middle of the night I spent some precious moments reviewing my outlook on life—and death. When I woke up the next morning I wrote them down, realizing opportunities to think like this are rare and greatly stimulated by being in this kind of place. Here are some of those musings:

1.   God is in control. I’m not. Trust Him. Ps.115:3.

2.   God is not in a hurry. I am. You’re a patient, so be patient. Slow Down. Matt. 6:25-34.

3.   Center your heart on the Lord’s, rather than on your own broken-down heart, John. Focus on Him. Col. 3:1; Phil. 4:6-7.

4.   In the hospital there are always people worse than you. Pray for them—and reach out with a word if you can . . . the man dying a few rooms up . . . people groaning and crying out in the night with pain . . . those too weak to get out of bed. Rom. 12:9-21.

5.   The continuum of life is always present in a hospital. I heard Brahms Lullaby in the hallways each time a baby was born, and there were little groups of people singing God Be With You ‘Til We Meet Again and I Come to the Garden Alone in the rooms of their dying loved-ones. Celebrate both life and death. 1 Cor. 15.

6.   Be grateful for small things, like when you can empty your own ‘water’ unassisted! In everything give thanks, with joy. 1Thess. 5:16-18.

7.   Consider how good it is to have a life partner and friends who care, who sit quietly by your side, kiss you when you’re unlovely, sneak in treats and walk alongside you in the hallways in those embarrassing gowns. Never take friendship for granted. Rom. 12:10-13. (Another thought—those hospital gowns are like insurance policies: neither covers you as well as you think.)

8.   It’s time to make preparations to clean up and pull together the papers, the will, the photos, the details of our lives, both for here and the life to come. Is there anyone whom I need to forgive and make things right? Get with it. 1 Cor. 14:33. Prepare to meet your God. Amos 4:12.

9. Someone needs to set the clocks, work the VCR and DVD player, A/C, sprinklers, computer, balance the checkbook, wash the clothes . . . Teach one another how—now.

10. No matter how inept hospital personnel and doctors can be at times, remember—you could be in Nigeria. Be grateful for what you have.

11. Enjoy the little things in life: a cup of Starbucks coffee (yes, decaf!) smuggled in by friends, a real strawberry milkshake with whipped cream and a cherry on top from Jack-in-the-Box. Savor it, and drink slowly.

12. Don’t waste the precious “pressures” or try to get back to normal too soon. Let the pressures transform and conform you to Christ. 2 Cor. 4.

13. Keep finding your sense of humor and joy. It’s better than some of the meds you’re taking! Be Happy. Prov. 17:22: A cheerful heart is good medicine.

14. Be kind, patient, and hospitable with the hospital personnel who care for you throughout the long days and nights—even though they may not do it perfectly.

Be kind. 1 Cor. 13:4; Eph. 4:32.15. And finally: Prov. 4:23: Above all, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life!

^{John Coulombe has served for 20 years as Pastor to Senior Adults at First Evangelical Free Church, Fullerton CA}

Are You a Spiritual Tourist or Pilgrim?

John Coulombe, Provided by CN Building Adult Ministries Resource Center

In 1869, Mark Twain wrote his book, Innocents Abroad. Here’s a snippet from his thinking: “Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely . … Broad, wholesome, charitable views . . . cannot be acquired by vegetating in one’s little corner of the earth.”

Contrary to common thought, Phil Cousineau in his work, The Art of Pilgrimage—The Seeker’s Guide to Making Travel Sacred, suggests that the object of pilgrimage is not rest and recreation nor to get away from it all. Rather, he argues, a pilgrimage throws down a challenge to everyday life. He continues: “travel brings a special kind of wisdom if one is open to it.” There appears to be great purpose to a pilgrimage. It is to be an inward journey to bring even closer those people, places and things that have or have had meaning in our lives over the years—and that requires openness, attentiveness and responsiveness to the surroundings. Cousineau suggests it also requires one be hardy. “They trudge rough roads, put in long days, sometimes live on bread crusts . . . but often sleep well!” In fact, the very word travel comes from an older word, travail, and itself has a Latin root, tripalium, which was a medieval torture rack!

So what lures us to get out and travel? Either it will torture and torment us or there’s a chance it will ‘stretch us’! Not just our bodies, but also our minds, our spirits, our relationships, our understanding. Before the development of tourism, travel was considered to be study. The traveler was out to explore, discover, learn and gain insight. And then the jet plane changed it all. Now that it’s easier to travel around the world on the wings of supersonic jets or via the Internet, it often leaves us casual, thoughtless and heartless about our journeys.

There’s a distinct difference I’ve noted over my years of travel, between being a tourist and a pilgrim:

Tourists . . .are always in a hurry and not quite sure where they are going; are sightseers, who skim the surface; visit the attractive and popular locations and only do so when it is convenient; want everything in life to be comfortable and ‘trouble free;’ look for the high points along the way and take the roads with least resistance and ‘the roads most traveled;’ are often insensitive to and unaware of those around them.

Pilgrims . . .are patient and set their sights not just on the ‘sites,’ but also on the insights and the ultimate goal of the journey; are “experience-makers” who take a risk looking deep inside; visit significant locations and realize not everything in life is timely, handy or always favorable; know it’s not always pleasant, restful, comfy or safe and accept that as part of life; travel the high mountains as well as low valleys, and learn to appreciate and accept both; care and share with those they meet along the way, as well as those with whom they are traveling.

A pilgrim is a wanderer with a purpose. So, fellow pilgrims, awaken the wonderment of the trip of a lifetime, filled with meaning, surprise and blessing.

^{John Coulombe has served for 20 years as Pastor to Senior Adults at First Evangelical Free Church in Fullerton, California.}

The Quality of Engagement

John Coulombe, Provided by CN Building Adult Ministries Resource Center

It all has to do with change. Winter blows in and snaps the buds, flowers and blooms into a new cycle of growth, renewal and life. As with the seasons of nature, so it is with the nature of man. God gave us the springtime and a myriad of other phenomenal acts of nature to help us understand the phases and stages of our own lives. Without change, life becomes monotonous monotone, routine, dreary, boring and colorless. Brian C. Stiller, President of Tyndale University College and Seminary in Toronto, recently wrote an article for the school’s newsletter (The Issachar Notes), which caught my attention on “Neoteny.” Yes, it’s a new word for me as well. It’s a zoological term having to do with the retention of juvenile features in adult animals. But where it grabbed me was when it referred to the retention of youthful qualities by adults. In simple terms, neoteny is the “quality of engagement in which the world is as attractive to me as a 61 year-old as it is to an active preschooler.” (Bennis and Thomas in Geeks and Geezers)

Bryan and Brandon, our three and five year-old grandsons, see life through the extraordinary and supernatural eyes of Superman and SpiderMan—they’re strong, able to leap buildings in a single bound, climb and swing from highrise structures and protect innocent, helpless people from the bad guys. These enthusiastic and loveable little boys are hopeless romantics, convinced that there is nothing they can’t do. In Stiller’s words: “Children, not burdened by failure, made cynical by the frivolous or becoming cautious by the unknown, model this quality of engagement.” Stiller continues: “Having ‘seen it all,’ having been exposed to the hyperbole of televangelists, having listened to the partisan polemics of politicians and having felt the disabling hurt of personal failure, life too easily slips into the tactics of caution, as much for a 30year old as for a 60year old.”

We have much to learn from our children and grandchildren about life. For too long we have listened to the hearts of our own kind, rather than the children. Jesus presses us to be as children, to overcome the anxious “why” with the hopeful “why not?” Edith Wharton stated it well: “In spite of illness, in spite even of the archenemy sorrow, one can remain alive long past the usual date of disintegration if one is unafraid of change, insatiable in intellectual curiosity, interested in big things, and happy in small ways.” Perhaps we should pay less attention to our expired prescriptions and more to our expired hopes and dreams! Which really is the more dangerous, if indeed we are to be living lives of faith? “If a person lives many years, let him rejoice in them all . . .Rejoice, O young man, in your youth, and let your heart cheer you in the days of your youth . . . Remember your Creator in the days of your youth, before the evil days come and the years draw near of which you will say, “I have no pleasure in them . . “(Ecclesiastes 11:8-9; 12:1)

A Neotenic Prayer

Lord, help us remain childlike, but keep us from being childish.

Keep us playing, full of giggles, smiles and fun.

Keep us dreaming, but wake us from our restful slumber when it’s time to get up.

Keep us kind, when others are mean.

Keep us tender, but make us strong.

Keep us inquisitive, but protected when boundaries are forgotten.

Keep us from failing the same old tests; help us learn from our falls.

Keep us trusting, but with discernment.

Keep us learning, but make us wise.

Keep us praying, simple and true.

Keep us talking (and listening) without airs, with family as well as Father.

Keep us growing and keep us pruned.

Keep us fruitful, sun-ripened, fresh and sweet.

Lord, change us so we’ll look more like You.

And keep us changing and committed to the things You ordained as unchangeable.

^{John Coulombe has served for 20 years as Pastor to Senior Adults at First Evangelical Free Church in Fullerton, California.}

John Coulombe

I was visiting my 96 year-old friend, Elsie Heuer, in the nursing home where she lived the past three years. They were cleaning her room and had wheeled her into the hallway. When I arrived she was slumped over, fast asleep, unable to respond to me rubbing her arm. Realizing I couldn’t stir her, I engaged in a brief conversation with her roommate, Beulah. As I turned to leave, I saw Elsie’s eyes open, so headed back her direction. Her eyes caught mine; she was confused, couldn’t identify me and I knew she couldn’t hear me since her ears had long ago ceased to pick up sounds. I felt uncomfortable. What should I do? Leave, speak to her, read the Scriptures, say something “spiritual”? And then this idea came to my heart: “John, don’t rush out; don’t try to say something profound; just give her the gift of your presence.” I wheeled Elsie back to her room. Beulah followed and we just sat, looking at each other for a seemingly endless time.

After the quiet time was no longer uncomfortable, I took Elsie’s and Beulah’s hands and prayed, assuming Elsie still didn’t recognize me and couldn’t hear my prayer. As I stood up to leave, she looked knowingly into my eyes. Her Irish twinkle returned and with exuberance, she blurted out, “I love it when you come visit me!” As I went to my car my eyes were full and my heart was near bursting. I sat for a few moments, and then quietly began to sob. That was Monday morning. Elsie died early that Thursday at 1:50 a.m. Who would have known this would have been an unrepeatable, Spirit- directed moment?

James Kok, a pastor friend at the Crystal Cathedral, has reminded me that “90% of caring is just showing up.” Being cared for is a basic ingredient of life. The Apostle Paul reminded a church to not lose heart in doing good . . . and while they still had opportunity, to do good to all men, especially to those of the household of faith (Gal.6:9-10).

One of the things Ev. Free Church does best is care, and we have many ministries that do just that: One on One for One, a brand new ministry where one person commits to visiting and calling one person for just one year; VIPS—Volunteers in Pastoral Service; Alongside, our memorial service ministry; Parish Nurses; Family Fix-It Day; Forget-Me-Not and Difference Makers, ministering in nursing homes; Second Wind; Feast and Family; COMI; Upbeat, for those with heart ailments; Disabilities Ministry; Cancer Support Group; Grief Group; Good Samaritan Center; Celebrate Recovery; Lay Counseling; Royal Family Kids Camp; Pen Pals; Sunday Drivers and Divorce Recovery to name just some!

So what more do we need? More people to serve! The needs are still great and increasing. Let’s remember the words of George Washington Carver: How far you can go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of the weak and the strong—because some day in life you will have been all of these.

Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another… casting all your cares on Him because He cares for you . . .Greet one another with the kiss of love.(From 1 Pet.5).

^{John Coulombe has served for 20 years as Pastor to Senior Adults at First Evangelical Free Church, Fullerton CA}