Archive for May, 2011

Culture Change…

Leona Bergstrom

Scribbled words on newsprint reflect the concerns adult ministries leaders carry in their hearts as they attended the recent Re-Ignite Network Gathering. It wasn’t hard to identify the top issue, as person after person cast his vote by marking an “X” by the questions:

How can we change the church culture so that aging is valued, not discounted?

How do we create a new vision for ministry in the second half of life?

How can we be proactive instead of reactive?

Great questions, but difficult to answer. Culture change is not about restructuring organizations or programs. It’s about changing the shared beliefs, values and behaviors of the people within that organization. And when it comes to aging, churches today have a long way to go to actually change these. In the field of gerontology there is a growing realization that for too long we have perceived our aging journey as going from active adulthood to decrepit elderhood in one giant leap. However, current thinking establishes a new life stage in which adults may be of “retirement” age, but are far from being frail, feeble and infirm. During this life stage adults have an increasing desire to discover their passions, gifts and abilities and reinvest these in new areas of service. They are flocking to find volunteer opportunities, “encore” careers and intentional mentoring relationships. And organizations around the world are welcoming these seasoned, and sometimes sassy, adults. All too often the church is not the organization that highly values this unnamed generation. Thus, we lose the energy and the spiritual impact that might have been.

Clearly there is a need for culture change. We need to change our shared values, beliefs and behaviors to incorporate all ages and stages of life into the community called the church.

 

Leona Bergstrom is Director of Lifetime Ministries (a division of ChurchHealth), a ministry dedicated to assisting churches in developing powerful and effective programs for and by older adults. Along with her husband, Richard, Leona is co-director of 2nd ½ for Him Ministries of the Baptist General Conference. This article was also published in Converge Worldwide BGC  ”Boomers and Beyond” in May 2011.

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Peter Laslett, 20th century English historian (1915-2001), was an early proponent in British and American society of what I believe must happen in 21st century church culture. In his book, A Fresh Map of Life, published in 1991, he points to the need for a new outlook and a new language with which to view life in today’s world. Nothing could be truer for churches today than the need for a new outlook, a new language and above all, the need for leaders to take a new and serious look at the world through the 40/50 Window.

Nearly 40% of society is 50+ in age. In a few short years it will be 45%. It’s happening in the USA, in Britain and Europe, in Canada and Australia. Today it is estimated there are more than 70,000 Centenarians in the USA alone. Japan is in second place with nearly 45,000. But the headline story is not about our growing 100-year-old population. The big story is the fact that society as a whole is aging, that we are living longer and growing older than at any other time in history, and that this very fact offers the greatest potential for the Church in mankind’s history. It is also about churches not absorbing this big story while growing sluggish with inadequate staff or finances to sustain them in our faltering economy. A new paradigm for doing business is imperative. The world at large recognizes this as our new reality. But the Church has been slow to get on board.

This amazing percentage of 50+ adults will continue to increase. Some see it as an unforgiveable burden on society. Others, like myself, see it as an undeniable opportunity, however poorly we Christ followers may be approaching this reality at the moment. Pastors and other leaders must come to grips with longevity issues, a reality that many are only glancing at or turning away from all together. Here’s a thought, not totally intended to be humorous, but, if the new wave of today’s mono-generational churches survive another two or three decades, they could wind up looking, acting and feeling like ecclesial ‘Sun Cities!’

Much of our thinking regarding aging in the Church is framed in a perspective belonging to the past. Even in ‘2nd half’ terminology, to which I myself often refer, there is a confusion that attempts to join the age of fulfillment with the age of decline. For example, when we in the CASA Network approach the ages chronologically, we identify three broad categories, namely 1) the Legacy generations – birth to approximately age 44; 2) the Bridge generations – 45 to around 69; and the Sage generations – 70+ (the three circles in our logo). Yet the longer I work in this age-wave environment and the more I see where researchers, academics and other thoughtful leaders are headed with their assessments, the more I am persuaded that we may have marked off Bridge generations too early at 70. I think we should be giving them another 10!

While dependence and decrepitude may define the oldest old, the weak and the infirmed, it in no way defines the vast majority of modern boomers and trailing edge builders in the Church or society. And therein lies the beginning of our misperception. It used to be that human life potential was wasted by people dying before their ‘three score and ten’ was up. Today, we who abhor teaching anything other than an authentic, up-to-date, rightly divided Word of Truth still find it easy to buy into century old passé myths of aging without a second thought.

Look at it another way. View the Body of Christ as you would a one-dollar bill. Hold it in your hand. It represents the entire worth of the Church. We decide to invest 55 cents of that dollar in children, youth and young adults. The remaining 45 cents we hold onto for a while. We don’t invest. We make no effort even to connect it to our earlier investment. We don’t understand its power. After all, what can you do with 45 cents? So it lies there in our hand. Losing interest. Getting in the way. Eventually it goes on a shelf or in a drawer. Out of sight.

Forty-five percent of the Christ followers in most of America’s evangelical and mainline churches are 50+ in age. Losing a high percentage of valuable influencers when we need them most doesn’t make any sense at all. Letting them slip through our fingers through inattention, under-serving or by not understanding their true value to the whole Church is even worse.

Maybe this is why a dollar isn’t what it used to be!

 

 

 

 

 

Ward

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SMALL BITES….Adventures in Downsizing.

Jan Kinzel

Where do I belong? …The other day I had a block of undedicated time while sitting at the computer.  Just for fun I pressed the Google Earth site.  I zoomed all over the world!  I began with India because we were going to dinner that night with the last Indian young man from his group to remain here at the hotel.  The others had returned to India over the last couple of weeks.  We had shared many delightful conversations over the months they were here.

I wanted to look at Iceland to see if there were populated places other than Reykjavik – there were, lots of them.  Next, I ‘toured’ the entire Middle East and looked at the total geographical picture of all of the areas which are in such conflict today, and for many centuries before.  I thought about the wars and ways of life in those places and the hardships endured by so many, including our own soldiers who are trying to defend against the tyrannical lifestyles forced on so many people.  I saw all of the straits, mountains, valleys and waterways so frequently on the news these days.

Then I ‘went’ to Europe and ‘visited’ places we had been and places I would like to go.  I thought how wonderful it would be to take a cooking class in Italy or visit the beautiful Greek Island of San Torino.

With Google Earth, you can zoom out and see Earth as a blue marble hanging in space or zoom in and see your house on your street, with your car in your driveway.

As we are prone to do, I zoomed in on myself and thought, “Where do I belong?”  Looking forward is best, but looking back is also a part of the downsizing experience.  I began to miss my ‘old life’.  Have you ever heard someone say, “I just want my life back?”  Another modern expression that applies is, “Don’t go there.”  Living in the moment is the healthy choice.  Cherish the memories and get on with life and all of the wonderful opportunities that are a part of living.

 

Risotto is the most satisfying dish I cook.  There is a certain contentment in the preparation and eating of risotto.  It is a staple in Italian cooking and as versatile as pasta.  Except for twirling it around a fork, it can be used like pasta as a delivery system for extra ingredients!

Risotto with Mushrooms

2 tablespoons olive oil

2 tablespoons butter

2 shallots or 1 medium yellow onion, diced

2 cups Arborio rice

½ cup white wine

4 – 5 cups simmering chicken broth in a separate pot

2 teaspoons salt

1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

8 – 12 ounces or sliced crimini or button mushrooms, sautéed in olive oil and/or butter, seasoned with salt and pepper and liquid drained from them

1 cup Parmesan cheese

Heat oil and butter in a heavy pan over medium high heat.  Add shallots or onions and cook until soft.  Add the rice and stir, coating each grain with the fat.  Stir in the wine and cook until wine is absorbed by the rice.  Continue to cook, adding 2 ladles of simmering broth.  Stir until the broth is absorbed by the rice.  Continue this process, two ladles at a time, until most or all of the broth is used.  Add salt, pepper  and cooked mushrooms.  Remove from heat and stir in the cheese.  You will have a creamy and delicious rice dish.  There are many wonderful ingredients and combinations of ingredients to mix into the risotto, but they should all be cooked separately, drained and then added to the finished risotto.  Even if you add other cheeses, be sure to always use the parmesan.

It’s best to cook this dish just before serving. When entertaining, it’s a perfect dish for interactive cooking.  People love to stand around the stove and chat, and they can even help stir.  It takes about 25 minutes.

 

Tip: Bloom where you are planted.  (My sister, Ruth, provided that one for me!)

Philippians 4:11 … in whatever state I am to be content….

 

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Counting it All Joy When it Doesn’t Add Up!

Pastor John Coulombe

In a recent AARP Bulletin, an article appeared entitled “Farewell to a Dreadful Decade.” The gist of the editorial? This is not the end of the world, but it perhaps is the end of the world—as we know it! Was it not Bob Dylan, the 60’s prophet/troubadour who reminded us “the times, they are a’changin’?” It was changin’ in the 60’s, but here 50 years later, the changes seem even more pronounced.

The article proposed that the dreadful decade began with “…9/11 and the rise of terrorism, closing with economic upheaval of historic proportions, a growing gap between the rich and poor, rising anger and rhetoric, impatience, fear, and paralyzed and polarized political institutions…” and continued, “the old jobs are gone…millions are out of work.”

There was another poll taken just this week. It revealed Americans are not only in a depression economically, but also in an emotional and spiritual funk. Peggy Noonan writes in the Wall Street Journal: “There’s a pervasive sense of anxiety… [evidenced by] a widespread use of antidepressants.”

People have lost faith in their government and feel they have been lied to. One psychiatrist analyzed the mood of his patients this way: “People feel unled, overwhelmed and the situation seems unsalvageable…there is a psychological pandemic of fear regarding the future of our country and even mankind. And, there seems to be no pill for that!”

Joni Eareckson Tada and her husband Ken were with us recently to lead a hymn sing for our Closer Walk Bible study. What a joyful morning! Joni has been a quadriplegic since she was 17 (she’s now 60) and is dependent upon others to do everything physically for her that most of us are able to do on our own. She also had a major bout with breast cancer this past year.

At one point during the hymn sing Joni needed her nose wiped, a drink of water and assistance to clear her lungs. She apologized and very casually asked Ken, her faithful husband of 29 years, if he would come help her cough and carry out those simple but necessary procedures. We sat and watched in silence, pondering as this faithful couple dealt with the issues of their lives in our presence. Needless to say, we all left the building with a new sense of acceptance of the life we’ve been dealt.

Joni is in constant pain despite having no feeling in her limbs. She shared that every morning upon waking she has to depend completely on the Lord to get going, and wonders perhaps if the people most ‘handicapped’ are those who depend solely on themselves rather than needing to rely upon their God.

Francis Chan, a contemporary spokesman for the gospel these days, noted recently in one of his books that Joni is a person whose life, at every level, gives evidence of the Spirit’s work in and through her. He considers Joni the most Spirit-filled person he knows. We saw this exhibited last week, and have not quickly forgotten those moments. Whenever Joni gets ‘bumped,’ it seems all those near her get splashed and covered with joy!

 

– How do we face this ‘brave new world’ and make it through times like these?

Things do appear to be getting worse, but Paul Harvey, noted radio commentator, observed: “In times like these, it helps to recall that there have always been times like these.”

What are our choices? Be filled with the Spirit and all that comes along with it, like love, joy and peace (Gal.5:22-23). Or, filled with fear, anxiety, hopelessness and all that comes with that?

Your choice, but I’d recommend being filled with the Holy Spirit!

  • God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Ps. 46:1
  • The joy of the LORD is your strength. Neh. 8:10
  • In Him we live and move and have our being. Acts 17:28
  • Be filled with the Spirit . . . Eph. 5:18

 

John Coulombe has been in pastoral ministry since Judson Baptist College and Biola/Talbot Seminary days, working with youth in Redondo Beach and Long Beach, and for 17 years with youth and families in Santa Barbara. For 21 years at First Evangelical Free Church in Fullerton, CA, John has served as Pastor to Senior Adults. He and Jacque teach in churches and conferences on issues surrounding marriage, family and grandparenting.

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Revisiting our Definition of Family

David Fraze

“David, I need some advice!”

The call came on the first day of my 2008 research with the Fuller Youth Institute (FYI). After almost 20 years of experience in youth ministry practice and education, I came to study with FYI because I can’t shake this feeling that something is not right about how we teach and practice youth ministry.  The evidence suggesting that 40-50% of our students leave Christianity after high school graduation heightens my concerns.1 So my wife and I loaded up our family, packed them into a Pasadena apartment and spent two months thinking deeply about youth ministry.  Specifically, I was at Fuller to research intergenerational strategies for youth ministry (i.e., youth ministry practices designed to create opportunities for spiritual growth across generational lines).

The youth leader seeking advice on the other end of the phone call was a dear friend, a veteran youth worker, and a youth ministry professor whose experience eclipses mine by at least ten years. (He’s old!)  Our conversation went something like this:

“I am not sure it is working,” my friend volunteered.

“What’s not working?”  I asked.

“The way we are programming and teaching youth ministry.”

He continued to explain how the kids he knew that were part of the 50% that “made it” would probably have been okay with or without the youth ministry programming that had been offered them.  Sure, the youth ministry had strengthened the faith of those students and provided them with valuable learning opportunities and great relationships.  But in his opinion, the students who developed into and remained committed disciples ended up that way because they had come from strong, intact and engaged families who were themselves connected to strong, intact and engaged communities of faith. His concern was with the other 50% and the way youth ministry education must change in order to equip future youth workers to reach the students whose faith is not nurtured by strong, intact and engaged adult relationships.

Does any part of this conversation sound familiar?

Has your experience with youth ministry led you to the same line of questioning?

If so, Welcome!

Many of us, if we step back from the youth ministry carnival of activity for a moment, might come to a similar conclusion. Ask yourself this question: Out of all the programming teenagers have participated in through the years, what has worked to build long term, committed followers of Jesus? (Go ahead, ask yourself the question.)

Follow up with a second question: In all that programming, how many times was the “real ministry” moment a conversation on the van ride back from an activity?

The crazy thing about discipling teenagers is that we don’t always know when those “real ministry” moments are going to occur.  We expect them to occur after the emotional youth conference appeal, but they are just as likely to occur after the annual baby oil/shampoo slip and slide contest (I’m not making this up; this really happened to me).  Perhaps the best programming is that which creates moments for meaningful experience and conversation. If your experience is anything like mine, your favorite “real ministry” moments may have been facilitated by a certain programed event, but are ultimately memorable because of the parents, adults and other members of the community of faith who shared the moment with you.

Try this exercise, make two lists:

1. First, write down all of the sermons, lessons and devotionals you remember that had a deep spiritual impact on you as a teenager.

2. Second, write down the names of all the people you remember who had a deep impact on your spiritual journey as a teenager.

Question: Which list is longer and/or do you consider more influential in your present spiritual journey?

More than likely, the answer to this question illustrates the value of intergenerational relationships in youth ministry.

I suggest that an evaluation of traditional youth ministry practice reveals our unintentional tendency to undervalue the role of parents and adult volunteers as well as support the separation of age groups at church.

To be fair, many parents and adult leaders seem to prefer and support this type of segregated youth ministry practice.  They prefer opportunities to participate in classes and worship services specifically targeted to their own adult interests while someone else is “watching” the kids.  However, if my friend on the phone call is right and the teenagers who continue in a long-term, committed discipleship journey are those who come from strong, intact and engaged families, and/or are connected to adults who provide supportive, familial relationships, then youth ministry teaching and practice may need some major retooling in order to support and foster more vibrant teen/adult relationships. 2

A Clarification of Terms

It is important that youth workers understand what is meant by the term intergenerational youth ministry. An intergenerational youth ministry approach views the roles of parents and the surrounding adult community as the primary influence in a student’s spiritual formation.  As a result, intergenerational youth ministry programming is designed to create opportunities for spiritual growth across generational lines.3

Intergenerational ministry should not be confused with family based youth ministry.  The family based approach, while closely related (and valuable), focuses primarily on the nuclear family unit.  An intergenerational approach, while honoring and working with nuclear family units, focuses on employing the entire adult faith community in youth ministry strategies.

Intergenerational youth ministry should likewise not be confused with inclusive youth ministry programming. Inclusive strategies work towards eliminating age specific ministry programs altogether.  Intergenerational strategies work to bring the generations together in meaningful ways while still offering programs that meet the specific age-appropriate needs of adolescent believers.

 

How Do You Define “Family?”

“Finally, someone is championing the role and responsibility of families in youth ministry!” is the response most often received when we bring up the topic of intergenerational youth ministry strategies.

“It depends how you define family,” is my typical response.

As you can imagine, the follow-up conversation is usually lively and lots of fun. Why? Because we have elevated the nuclear family to perhaps an unhealthy (even idolatrous) status and ignored those who don’t seem to fit that paradigm. For instance, what do you assume about a man or woman who chooses to remain single after age 30? Is the definition of family broad enough to include this group in our church community? Could people from this group be employed as intergenerational “family figures” in youth ministry programming? How we define family influences our answers to those and a host of other questions.

A definition that is too narrow places all responsibility for the spiritual formation of children solely upon the shoulders of legally related family members. This extreme view is dismissive of any role played by the surrounding community of faith.4

A definition that is too broad may place the responsibility for the spiritual formation of children on the shoulders of people unqualified to offer any meaningful spiritual direction. This extreme view allows unhindered access to anyone willing to work with children, without examining a “family” member’s moral or spiritual qualification.

In the midst of these two extremes, can we find a healthy middle ground? In her book, Family Ministry, sociologist Diana Garland provides a helpful framework for defining family that invites youth ministries to re-examine how to best love and serve kids and their families.

Garland begins by acknowledging the turbulent debate around the definition of family in our current cultural context.  While describing the importance of caring for and supporting the traditional nuclear family unit, Garland encourages her readers to expand their definition of family, so that the diversity found in today’s family culture is acknowledged and brought into family ministry discussions.  She does this through a discussion of two sociological views commonly used to define “family.”5

View #1:  A Structural Definition. This definition views family through the structural relationships assumed through marriage, birth and/or adoption, divorce and remarriage, or any of the variants formed through these primary structures (single parents, step-parent/children, elderly parents living with an adult child, etc.).  The structural definition even allows for “fictive kin” relationships.6 This structural definition seems to represent the most often employed and understood use of the term “family” in ministry programming.

Garland certainly honors and accepts the structural definition of family as found in Scripture. Jesus himself was set in an adoptive structural family!  However, as will be discussed below, the functional definition of family not only honors structural relationships but allows for a more inclusive use of the word “family” that better describes relationships within the body of believers.

View #2:  A Functional Definition. This definition views family through the unique functions certain relationships have in a person’s life experience.  Therefore, “family” is defined as the “organization of relationships that endure over time and contexts through which persons attempt to meet their needs for belonging and attachment and to share life purposes, help and resources.”7 This definition of family includes both structural relationships and those relationships that make a functional attempt at being family.8

Garland explains why she employs the functional definition of family:

“Most family ministries have been based on a structural definition of family.  Thus we have ministry with married couples, with parents, with single parents, with single adults, with empty-nest families and so on.  No doubt these ministries have been helpful to families dealing with the various life-stage issues.  On the other hand, this approach tends to cut up a congregation into homogeneous groups, so that all the married couples are grouped for ministry, and all the singles, and so on.  It also has the tendency toward congregational specialization, so that one congregation may become known as the congregation for young families, another the church for single adults, or for senior adults.  Inevitably some types of families do not find a specialized ministry for them, because most congregations do not have enough specialized staff and other resources to maintain a host of specialized ministries for the diversity of family types included in the community…The functional definition seems to better fit Jesus’ teachings about family.  For followers of Christ are not to be bound by the structures of legally recognized or biologically based relationships.  Rather, family relationships are defined by relationship process—loving one another, being faithful to the same Lord, and adopting one another as brothers and sisters in the household of faith.”9

In a more thorough exploration of family in scripture, we find it shift beyond “flesh” relation (Genesis 3:23-24) to the radical expansion of the term seen in Jesus’ words, “Whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother” (Matthew 12:50).  Jesus reformed the idea of family simply in the way God brought Jesus into the life of Mary and Joseph.  The adoption of Jesus by Joseph “points to the good news that Jesus will develop later in his teachings (Matthew 12:46-50): from this point forward, no one must be without family because wombs are barren, marriages are broken or never formed, or loved ones die.”10 For those who therefore lack a structural family, a functional family fulfills the human need for connection and support.  Even the experience of Jesus’ conception and birth is evidence that “God sets the lonely in families” (Psalm 68:5-6).

The functional definition of family honors and values the significance of the traditional family unit while acknowledging the place for single parents, divorced individuals, singles and others within the faith community.  This calls the community of faith to offer hope for those hurt by structural family relationships by providing a family in which healing and acceptance are found.

Beyond Definitions

“That’s exactly what we need!”

This was the response given by one of my volunteers (who used to be a paid youth worker) when discussing the need for more intergenerational youth ministry programming.  The volunteer came alive when discussing this functional definition of family.

“Let me show you my Bible,” came the enthusiastic offer from my volunteer. 

As the volunteer brought forth his tattered and worn Bible, he told the story of how it was given to him by two of his campers at a summer camp almost twenty years previous to our conversation.  He described their relationship in family-like terms (i.e. Paul and Timothy, father and son language).  He is still in contact with those two young men.  Both are committed disciples and one is involved in full-time ministry.

 

Learn more about David Fraze and his work at Fuller Youth Institute.

Note: This article appears in the 2009 January/February edition of The Journal of Student Ministries.

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Missy Buchanan

Meet Contributing Author Missy Buchanan

Missy Buchanan will be at ILC-Anaheim 2011 presenting, “The Far Side of Life’s Timeline: Reaching the Oldest Old in a Culture of Youth.”

 

Aging Faithfully: 28 Days of Prayer Old age isn’t punishment but a gift from God, says Missy Buchanan. In fact, aging is part of God’s plan. In her typical upbeat style, Buchanan focuses on the positive aspects of aging. Discover what it means to age joyfully every day through these Bible-based meditations, prayers, and practical suggestions. Includes Reflection Questions for groups or individuals.

Don’t Write my Obituary Just Yet: Inspiring Faith Stories for Older Adults The 30 stories in this book give us glimpses into the lives of ordinary people who range from 70 to 100 years old. Some of these folks are active; others are dealing with physical or mental decline. All exemplify how strong faith can help us overcome struggles and sorrows and live in hope.

Talking with God in Old Age: Meditations and Psalms This collection of 42 moving prayerful meditations pairs each devotion with a passage from the Psalms. All express the myriad ways older adults ask themselves, and ask God, “What’s the purpose of my life now that I’m so old?” These prayers flow out of real-life experience, particularly of the frail elderly.

Living with Purpose in a Worn-Out Body: Spiritual Encouragement for Older Adults Devotions written in the first person allow readers to speak directly to God about the pills they take, the walkers they need to be mobile, the ambulances that take away their friends, and other befuddling moments from life. Supporting scriptures from the New Testament and Psalms are included with each meditation.

 

Missy Buchanan writes a monthly column, “Aging Well,” for the United Methodist Reporter and hosts Aging and Faith with Missy Buchanan on Blog Talk Radio.  She has also written for many publications including Presbyterians Today, Christian Association Serving Adults Ministries and Good Morning America’s spirituality page. Read more at www.missybuchanan.com.

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Northwest University 75th Commencement

Dr. Douglas Shaw Awarded Sigma Chi Pi

Dr. Shaw Honored at Northwest University’s 75th Commencement

In addition to all of the new alums that were recognized for their scholastic achievements, Dr. Douglas Shaw (‘71) was recognized for the Sigma Chi Pi award for “Diligent Christian Leaders.”

Dr. Shaw graduated with a degree in Religion and Philosophy and while he was at Northwest, served as the ASB Vice-President as well as the World Outreach Ministries Chairman. After leaving NU, he earned M.A. and Ph.D. degrees from the California Graduate School of Theology.

Having been an international student himself (born and raised in India), he began his ministry as Pastor of Evangelism at Valley Christian Center, Dublin CA, where CASA President/Executive Director Ward Tanneberg served as Senior Pastor for 23 years. Dr. Shaw is now the President and CEO of International Students, Inc. (ISI) based in Colorado Springs, Colo. The purpose of ISI is to evangelize international students and equip them for effective service. “Befriending, loving, sharing Jesus” is ISI’s motto.

Dr. Shaw and his wife Susan have three children and three grandchildren.

 

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Pastor Sharon has always been strong in all that she does.

The first born of seven with six brothers, she loved serving in her community for years along with her five children in their activities. Then at age 45, the Lord placed a call on her life and today she is an ordained minister and a pastor for over 25 years at Phoenix First Assembly of God where she currently directs 21 ministries. She has developed Compassionate Ministries such as Wheelchair Bus Ministry, Care Center Ministry, Medical Equipment Lending Center, Special Needs Classes and Camp, Extreme Seasonal Outreaches and Chaplain Training. She and her husband of 50+ years are determined to see every Zip Code in every community in our Nation established with a Chaplain.

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Jodi Detrick

Provided by CN Building Adult Ministries Resource Center

I’ve been told lately that I sometimes talk in blanks . . .

Sad to say, this accusation has been leveled by members of my own beloved family. I hate to admit it, but they’re right. I will be talking in perfectly fluent English when, suddenly, a word I know as well as my own middle name will escape me.

“Honey, will you go get me the … the … ” (What is that thingamabob called anyway?) I wildly gesture in the general direction of the desired object, hoping that will be enough of a clue to identify the article I want. My daughter just rolls her eyes.

“You’re talking in blanks again, Mom! Use your words!” This can happen outside the family setting as well, and it’s even more unnerving then. Recently, I was addressing a group of church leaders:

“It occurs to me that the really important thing, the, uh, the … ” (What was that word again? Is it “crush,” or “crust”? No, no that’s not it! Think, Jodi. Everyone is staring at you, waiting for you to spit it out. CRUX! That’s it! Crux!) “the crux of the matter is … is … .” Too late.

Now that I’ve finally figured out the right word, I’ve forgotten my point entirely and I’m talking in blanks again. It would be nice if people would just fill those in without reminding me about things like menopause and the likelihood of escalating forgetfulness in the years ahead.

Memory is tricky. Why is it that we often remember what we’d rather forget and forget what we want to keep in mind? I’m not sure, but I know there are many verses in the Bible that tell us to remember certain things.

“And remember the words of the Lord Jesus, that He said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’ ”

” … remember the poor … ”

“Remember the prisoners as if chained with them … ”

One of the most important observances or worship rituals in the Christian faith, Communion, is based upon a reminder. (It can also be called Holy Communion, the Lord’s Supper, the Eucharist, and the Sacrament of Communion, among other names.)

Within the various facets of Christianity, the observance of Communion differs slightly. For some, it is observed weekly. For others, it is offered monthly or even irregularly.

Some churches require participants to be a certain age, to have completed prerequisite classes or to be a member of that congregation. For others, open Communion is practiced, which means participants need only have expressed faith in Christ.

The actual receiving of Communion can have variations, as well. However, the basics usually include the reading of certain Scriptures and a time for prayerful self-examination, along with the eating of the bread and the drinking of the wine/grape juice (called the “elements”), which represent the body and blood of Christ as he gave his life for humanity.

Despite the differences in the way it is observed, one thing is true for all who participate in Communion. We are acting upon a reminder from Jesus. He said, “Do this in remembrance of me.” (1 Corinthians 11:24)

It strikes me that he knew ahead of time how forgetful we humans can become. He knew that we would not only forget common words and people’s names and lose our train of thought. He understood that, in the busyness of daily living and the information overload that occupies our minds, we would be prone to forget the most important act of love in history. We would forget the cross. So he instituted a simple ceremony, involving eating and drinking (something we are not likely to forget!) as a string around the finger of those who believe in him.

The act of Communion reminds us that God came looking for us. Not in a search-and-destroy mode, but on a mission to rescue and restore. In one of my favorite verses, God says, “For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their lawless deeds I will remember no more.”

Communion helps us remember that God chooses to forget our flaws. That is the crux of the matter.

Oh, by the way … the word crux is from the Latin meaning “cross.” Keep it in mind.

Jodi Detrick serves as the Assemblies of God Chairperson for the Network for Women in Ministry.She is also a public speaker, an author and a life coach.

Copyright © 2007 The Seattle Times Company

 

 

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Purpose of this guide

Purpose of this guide: This guide will help seniors of all ages to understand some of the options open to them and precautions that they should take when it comes to owning a home, downsizing, paying a mortgage, taking out a reverse mortgage, and selling property.

After evaluating this guide, readers will have a better understanding of:

Common financial mistakes that seniors make

The benefits of downsizing

Approaches to paying for a mortgage in retirement

The various types of mortgages available to seniors

What a reverse mortgage is and how to use it

How seniors can protect themselves from predatory real estate professionals and scams

 

Introduction

A home is a central part of everyone’s life. If you are a senior and you have lived in your home for many years, that idea takes on a whole different meaning. You’ve raised your children there, you’ve held meaningful family gatherings there, and you’ve created countless memories. You’ve also probably invested quite a bit of your time, effort, and income into the house over the years in the form of mortgage payments, maintenance, repairs, and renovations.

Not to sound dramatic, but the very thing that has housed your family and holds so many dear memories can turn into a real burden if you don’t plan ahead. For some, the strain is physical in the form of regular, exhausting maintenance. For others, it’s the draining financial responsibilities of the mortgage, bills, and upkeep. And for some, the house just becomes glaringly impractical either because it has more space than they need, stairs that they can no longer climb, a yard that they can no longer maintain, or is located too far from friends and family.

While it’s easy to get hung up on a home for sentimental reasons, it’s smart to think about it in terms of what will keep you physically and financially independent for the longest. There’s no sense in going broke or compromising your health over a piece of property that no longer suits your needs.

Everyone has a different definition of what a senior is. After all, it’s an age group that spans 40 years. The average age of retirement in this country is 65. In the real estate industry, a 62 year old is considered a senior. Meanwhile, the AARP allows members to join when they are 50. And, of course everyone in that age range feels a different age: some 75 year olds feel more mentally and physically fit than some 65 year olds and even some 55 year olds.

Whatever a senior’s actual age or physical or mental condition, there is one thing that everyone in that 40 plus year age range has in common: they should all be planning ahead and thinking about their financial future, especially when it comes to housing and finances.

This guide is meant to give an overview of some of the options that seniors have when it comes to real estate and mortgages. The more that you know about what’s out there, the better your chances are of making good decisions that will lead to a comfortable life.

Though we have done our best to make this guide comprehensive, you should do further research before making any big financial decisions. Be sure to run things by an impartial third party like a lawyer or a trusted real estate professional before making any commitments. There are many people out there looking to take advantage of seniors who may not understand all of their options, so be careful!

Part 1: Examples Of Typical Senior Housing Problems

Here are a few examples of the types of problems (and some solutions) that seniors might find themselves dealing with.

Problem: Alex is 70 years old and has been living in the same 4,000 square foot two-story house for twenty-five years. His wife passed away four years ago and his daughters have been trying to convince him to sell the house and move into a condo closer to them. The house has too many memories and he doesn’t want to sell it despite the fact that it’s too big for him to properly maintain and he can’t afford to have someone do it for him

Solution: Alex should seriously think about selling the house and using part of the cash to purchase a zero lot line, ground level condo or apartment near his daughters that requires no yard work, very little maintenance, and is in walking distance to restaurants and stores. He should invest the remaining money (which may come in handy later) and use the dividends to enrich his life with travel and other enriching experiences.

Problem: Nate and Courtney are both about to retire and have a few years left on their mortgage. They aren’t sure if it makes more sense to try to pay down their mortgage with retirement funds or if they should just keep paying the mortgage till the end. They are both nervous about not having enough money to keep up with their mortgage payments should one of them fall ill.

Solution: The couple should meet with their financial advisor and consider their options. If they qualify, they might choose to refinance the mortgage at a lower rate and for a shorter number of years. Though their payments will initially be higher, the long-term finance charges will be lower and they will pay off their mortgage sooner. With taxes and early withdrawal fees, it’s probably not in their best interest to take money out of their 401K or IRA to finish paying the mortgage. However, if they have adequate savings for retirement and also have some investments with a smaller percentage return than their mortgage, they should use those investments to pay down the mortgage.

Problem: Rosemary and her husband George have lived in the same house for 30 years. Unfortunately, George has Alzheimer’s and requires a nurse to visit at least once a day and the bills are piling up. Some friends have suggested that she put George into an assisted living facility, but Rosemary feels that he will probably do better in the long run if he stays in a familiar environment. Rosemary is having trouble juggling health care payments with her mortgage payments and other bills and isn’t sure what to do.

Solution: Rosemary should consider a reverse mortgage that will allow her and George to stay in their home and will pay for George’s health care costs. Though it will ultimately pay out less than the value of the house, it saves her the mental and physical strain of packing up and moving. Also, remaining in the home will likely make George’s last years more tranquil and positive.

Problem: Craig and Sarah are in their late 60’s and all three of their children have moved out and have graduated college. They are both retired and want to spend some time travelling, but don’t have much cash. Out of the blue, a realtor gets in touch with an offer on their house. The offer couldn’t have come at a better time: it’s a lot more money than they paid for their house and the funds will allow them to travel.

Solution: Is this a problem? Probably. It’s a cliché, but if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. People will often make lowball offers to seniors, knowing that they don’t know the market or the true value of their property. Craig and Sarah should first do some research to find out how much their house is really worth. They can look up the tax assessments for other nearby homes and they can talk to a trusted and impartial realtor. Also, they should get a second opinion on the offer from a different realtor or real estate professional.

 

Part 2: Common Mistakes That Seniors Make

When it comes to real estate, it is crucial that seniors think about their financial future and not let a sentimental attachment to a home get in the way.

That is, of course, easier said that done!

“The biggest mistake that the older seniors are making,” says Senior Living Realtor Armand Christopher, “is staying in their homes for longer than they should. They need to move to a community where there is care. Or they need to be looked after by home health or by their adult children.” The longer a person stays in a home that is not suited to his or her current needs, the more expensive and physically and mentally draining it is ultimately going to become.

“I could say the same thing about a younger senior who has not downsized yet,” Christopher continues, “a person who is living in a 4,000 square foot house that they really don’t need. They too should be planning.”

One way to cut through the sentimental attachments to a home is to try to look at it purely as an investment. “Once you’ve been in a 4,000 square foot house for 30 years,” says Christopher, “and that house is paid off and worth half a million dollars—that equity is just sitting there doing nothing.”

For example, the hypothetical senior in the above situation could downsize by selling the $600,000 home, purchasing a more manageable $200,000 home, and then invest the rest. That money is going to pay off in the long term. Even if it’s only a 5% or 2% interest, the person is still making something off of that money and saving by lowering expenses on utilities and maintenance.

 

Part 3: Downsizing

The concept of downsizing is key for seniors when it comes to long-term independence.

“A lot of people want to downsize from the 5,000 square foot house to a 2,200 square foot house,” says Christopher. “They are either active adults who are looking to move to a golf course community, or they want something in a zero lot line community: a condominium, a townhouse, something low-maintenance. They want to minimize their lifestyle to make it easier for them, but they still want the amenities.”

As seniors get older and less able to navigate steps and basements and big yards, downsizing to a smaller, more manageable home allows them to maintain the tax benefits and independence of home ownership. They may also want to downsize to a place that is in another part of the country with nicer weather or that is closer to amenities like stores, golf courses, parks, their children, etc.

For younger seniors, it makes sense to think about the future and to downsize to a home that they can grow old in—before they find themselves in a desperate situation. The purchase will free up capital that can be invested now, and they’ll be making an important decision while in a sharp state of mind.

For those who can’t face the hassle of downsizing, professionals like Armand Christopher, of Senior Living Realty, put together teams to help seniors through the process. “We are a full service company that works directly with a lot of the senior housing community,” says Christopher. “We help them to project manage the entire process from start to finish. We have a team that does the moving and the packing and the estate sale. We provide the full service for the client when they are ready to make that decision.”

 

Part 4: Retiring With A Mortgage

According to the AARP, 25.5 million seniors ages 50 and older still have a mortgage. Though you may have always hoped that you would be able to retire without a mortgage, chances are good that you will still have one.

If you know that you will still be paying your mortgage after retirement, start planning now for strategies that will keep it manageable while you are on a fixed income.

If you have a lot of savings or a huge retirement fund, you may have wondered whether or not you should just use that money to pay off your mortgage. Using funds from your 401K or from your retirement funds almost never pays off, as you will have to pay taxes and possible early withdrawal penalties.

However, if you have savings and investment accounts that are earning less than you are paying on your mortgage, then it probably makes sense to use that money for your mortgage. For example, if your mortgage rate is 6.3% yet your investment account only gives you 4%, you are probably better off paying off some or all of your mortgage.

Another thing to think about is that your mortgage payments are usually tax deductible. Consult your accountant to see if it makes more sense to keep paying the mortgage so that you can continue to take advantage of the tax deduction.

Many retiring seniors worry about whether or not they’ll be able to make their mortgage payments on a fixed income. One solution is to refinance. If you have an adjustable rate mortgage and you are able to refinance to a fixed rate mortgage, this is a no brainer. Not only will the monthly payments be lower, but they will be at a fixed i.e. predictable rate.

You can also refinance to a lower rate or to a new mortgage with a longer term that spreads the payments out and brings the monthly costs down. This can save you a lot of money every month in the short run, but will extend the length of your loan and add on finance charges in the long run. Again, this is the kind of thing to run by your financial advisor first.

A third option, if you have the capital, is to purchase an annuity that produces regular payments that will cover the mortgage. Roll over a 401K or IRA into an annuity that lasts until the end of the mortgage term and avoid a big tax bill. Annuities are a famously tricky product though, so again, discuss this thoroughly with your tax advisor.

 

Part 5: Mortgages Available to Seniors

No matter what you decide, whether it is to downsize to a smaller property, to refinance, or even to purchase a second home or apartment, there is a good chance that you’ll be dealing with a mortgage again. In an ideal situation, you’ll just be able to sell your old home and pay for a downsized one with cash. Unfortunately, not everyone can afford to do that. 
There are many types of loans available to senior citizens and each satisfies a different need. Read on for examples of the different mortgage types: 
1. Standard Mortgage: This is the traditional mortgage that you probably already had on your last home. It can last between 5 and 30 years. Qualifying for it is dependent on your income and your credit rating.
2. Second mortgage: A second mortgage is taken out in addition to a primary mortgage and is always for a smaller amount. Second mortgages generally have a higher interest rate because they are riskier for the lender. 
3. Refinanced Mortgage: This is when you take your current mortgage and refinance it to change the type of loan (ex: ARM to Fixed Rate), change the rate, change the length of the loan, or any combination of the three. 
4. Reverse Mortgage: With this type of mortgage, which is available to seniors 62 and older, instead of paying a lump sum, the lender cuts a monthly check to the borrower. At the end of the term, the bank owns the home. Reverse mortgages are typically no doc loans meaning that you don’t need to document your employment, income, or assets.
5. HELOC: This stands for Home Equity Line of Credit. Like a credit card, it is a loan that the borrower takes out in small sums (rather than a large lump sum) against the equity of his or her home. One of the advantages of this type of loan is that a person can take out as little or as much as they need and they only have to pay the interest on the loan at first. It is often used for things like repairs and renovations. 
6. HECM: The Home Equity Conversion Mortgage is similar to a reverse mortgage except that it is regulated by the Federal Housing Authority and has some of the best rates. The costs and fees are generally worked into the loan. 
7. VA Loan: A VA Loan is a mortgage that is guaranteed by the Department of Veterans Affairs. It is available to veterans of the armed forces and their spouses. It has great rates and can often be used to get into a home for little or no down payment.

 

Part 6: Reverse Mortgages

This type of mortgage is a financial product available to people who are 62 and older. True to its name, a reverse mortgage is like a mortgage in reverse. Instead of getting a lump sum that is used to pay for a home, a lender gives you monthly payments for your existing home for a fixed period. At the end of that period, the house is then either sold by the lender or refinanced by a family member.

Reverse mortgages have a bad name because they only pay out a percentage of the total value of the home, have fees attached, and leave you without a home at the end of the term. It has a reputation as a desperate last recourse for seniors who can’t keep up with medical bills or the upkeep of their home. However, used properly by someone who fully understands what they are getting into, it can be a lifesaver.

“It’s a phenomenal vehicle for seniors at this time,” says Don Girogio the president of United Northern Mortgage Bankers. “I believe that social security hasn’t increased in the past two or three years. Meanwhile, we’ve seen double digit increases in property taxes and insurance. How can a senior who is on a fixed income that’s not even sticking to the cost of living stay on top of things? It’s the only product available to them that allows them to have dignity and independence.”

“We’ve had a lot of good stories with people who were able to stay in their home and not have to go into assisted living or a nursing home because they were able to afford an aide and get the medical attention that they needed desperately. And it made them better—it gave them peace of mind. Honestly, we’ve had people eating cat food. You don’t think those stories are true, but they are real.”

“We’ve literally taken people off of the court steps out of foreclosure because they didn’t have the money to pay their mortgage,” continues Girogio. ”We’ve also had a lot of widows who can go on without their spouse and enjoy their lives because they now have the wherewithal to do so.”

Many times, it’s the adult children who are afraid of losing their inheritance who don’t want their parents to utilize a reverse. “One of the biggest mistakes that you see seniors making is not following their heart. Instead, they’ll follow an advisor who might have an ulterior motive and they don’t end up doing a reverse mortgage because they afraid that they are not going to leave something to their heirs. And meanwhile they are struggling.”

If a senior sells his or her home, goes through the trauma of displacing themselves from a home and neighborhood that they’ve lived in for twenty years, and ends up renting an apartment that costs as much as their mortgage, who wins?

“If you think about it, a home is a home, but it is still an investment,” says Girogio. “They get to borrow against that investment, which over time will still appreciate vs. renting, which is dead money. It’s helping them to unlock the equity in their home, an investment that they have made which should now pay back to them and give them the financial tools that they need in order to take care of their health.”

In the end, if an adult child or other family member really wants the home, a reverse mortgage gives them the time to financially grow into acquiring the property. The family member simply buys it from the estate with a new mortgage when the reverse has fully paid out.

One last bit of advice that Girogio offers is to take advantage of reverse mortgages while they are still available. “The only thing I would say as far seniors are concerned: this product is available today. We don’t know what’s going to happen with the government.  We’ve got a trillion dollar deficit. Programs are being cut left and right. If a senior has the ability to do a reverse mortgage, they should do it immediately and take advantage of what is offered to them today. It’s essentially a no doc loan [a loan that anyone can theoretically get because it does not require you to document your employment, income, or assets]. Where would you get that in today’s market? The average consumer can’t. Seniors should run and take advantage with the right advice.

Part 7: Protecting Yourself

Any discussion of seniors and real estate would not be complete without a warning about scams and predatory real estate professionals. There are many people out there looking to take advantage of seniors who are either desperate, not thinking clearly, or just don’t understand the market.

“Seniors need to know that people will try to take advantage of them because of their age and because they don’t understand the market,” cautions Christopher. “Some seniors see an offer and think, “Wow, that’s a lot more than I paid for the house,” without really knowing the market and what their house is worth. There’s a lot of that that goes on. And when I say a lot, there is a lot.”

If they decide to sell, seniors should get a professional to help them to get the most for their home. It comes down to four things: price, condition, location, and competition. And, of course, condition of the house can make a huge difference. If a neighbor’s house has sold for X amount of dollars and that house has been updated, they need to understand that it will cost something to bring their house up to market value.

 

Seniors should always find well-informed assistance before making any decisions. This may mean looking outside of their circle of friends and family for a trusted and impartial attorney or financial advisor who understands the fine print. Getting advice from a child or relative who has a financial stake in the outcome of a senior’s investments can be problematic and may not always produce the most beneficial results for the senior.

 

Here are a few tips that seniors can take to prevent being taken advantage of:

If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.

Read and understand the fine print (or find someone who does) before you sign anything.

If someone is rushing you, they are probably trying to get away with something.

Get a second opinion.

Get a market analysis.

Ask neighbors about houses that have sold in the area.

Go online and look at the assessed values of homes in your area to get a better idea of what your house is worth.

 

Part 8: Conclusion

It’s hard to put together a guide that covers every senior. After all, as we said in the introduction, we’re talking about an age span of 40 years or more. Still, if there’s one thing that seniors of any age should do, they should plan for the future!

If you currently own a home that is too big for your needs, downsize while you still can. Do it for your own peace of mind and finances, but also do it so that you can put some of the capital that you have invested in your home to work.

If you are entering retirement with a mortgage, do what you can to make it more affordable with a refinance or another payment strategy.

If you find yourself in need, a reverse mortgage can be a great asset—if you get good advice and use the money wisely.

The decisions that you make about your home and your mortgage will have long lasting effects on your life and on those close to you. Your home can be one of your greatest financial assets. Learn to manage the investment and you will be able to take care of yourself and maintain your independence and health well into the future.

 

Part 9: Additional Resources

Experts http://www.seniorlivingrealty.com/ This is the website for Armand Christopher, the Seniors Housing Advisor we consulted with for much of the information in this guide. 
http://www.unitednorthern.com/ This is the website for Don Girogio, a mortgage banker and reverse mortgage expert who helped us to put together our information on reverse mortgages.

Real Estate http://www.seniorsrealestate.com/ Seniors Real Estate Realtors is a part of the National Association of Realtors. Its realtors are qualified to address the needs of buyers and sellers over the age of 50.

Mortgage Guides http://www.refinancemortgagerates.org/mortgage-guide-for-senior-citizens/ This excellent, comprehensive guide covers all aspects of mortgages and finance for seniors.

Personal Finance/Retirement resources http://www.lendingtree.com/smartborrower/seniors/real-estate-retirement/… A quick guide to financial strategies for those who are retiring with a mortgage. 
http://www.aarp.org/money/money_tools/ An AARP site with links to various helpful calculators like reverse mortgage and retirement calculators. 
http://www.retirementliving.com/ This site links to a multitude of resources for seniors including taxes by state, places to retire, publications, and state agencies.

Reverse Mortgages http://www.reversemortgage.org/ConsumerGuides/tabid/251/Default.aspx Links to guides from the National Reverse Mortgage Lenders Association on reverse mortgages and aging. 
http://www.housingwire.com/2009/04/14/elderly-turn-to-reverse-mortgages-… A fair article on the state of reverse mortgages and the various options available.

Government Sites http://portal.hud.gov/portal/page/portal/HUD/topics/information_for_seni… The Housing and Urban Development Information for Senior Citizens website: great links and information for everything from reverse mortgages to senior care to finding an apartment. 
http://www.usa.gov/Topics/Seniors/Housing.shtml Resource with links to various gov sites regarding housing for seniors. 
http://www.hud.gov/offices/hsg/sfh/hecm/hecmhome.cfm A Housing and Urban Development site with links to information about HECM’s and reverse mortgages. 
http://www.usa.gov/Topics/Seniors/FederalState.shtml Website with links to a variety of federal and state agencies for seniors.
http://www.usa.gov/Topics/Seniors.shtml Another website with links to government resources for seniors on money, housing, health, consumer protection, and more.

Associations http://www.aarp.com American Association of Retired Persons: Up to the minute comprehensive site on all relevant topics for seniors. 
http://www.nsclc.org/ The National Senior Citizens Law Center is a non-profit organization whose principal mission is to protect the rights of low-income older adults.

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